Jokers 7 (seven) – 3 Elbow Room

Sunday 6 December 2005.

Market Rd. K.o 4 p.m.

Team: Linter; Lynes, Vere, Powell, Read; Milner, Innes, Hyde, Perez-Tejedor; Gamson, Wilby.

Subs: Keen (on for Perez-Tejedor), 55; ???? on for Wilby, 70.

Scorers: Wilby (2), Milner (2), Hyde (2), Gamson.

Unnamed Elbow Room player to Gamson: ‘You shouldn’t be playing, mate, they were much better last week without you’.

Gamson’s response: 1 goal, 2 assists.

Unnamed Elbow Room player to Milner: ‘You should learn to speak English’.

Milner’s response: 2 goals, 1 assist (plus the classic comment to the same player, ‘did you understand that?’)

We all knew that the Elbow Room would be up for this match, following last week’s defeat at the hands of the Jokers, but casual racism and punching opponents (Vere was the recipient of a blow to the stomach with the promise that there was ‘plenty more where that came from’ in the opening stages) is perhaps taking things too far. The Jokers replied in the best way possible to move 4 points clear at the top of the table. Many of ER’s best players were on the view, strengthening their team from last week. They were also more organized, grouping together well before kick-off in contrast to last week’s straggling entry and attempts to delay the start. This week it was the Jokers’ turn to come out in ones or twos, with Linter setting a captain’s example, barely having time to take off his coat before the toss of the coin.

But what a team of stragglers! If ER were stronger than last week, arguably the Jokers were also fielding a stronger team. Mandolini was absent from midfield, but was replaced by Hyde. Gromb was injured in central defence, so Powell, who finished last week’s game there, moved over to the centre and the returning Read came in at right-back. Up front, it emerged that King had fractured his wrist during last week’s clash (get better soon Ewan) and so Gamson partnered Wilby.

ER started the better, but the Jokers came back into it and it was from a Jokers corner that ER opened the scoring on the break. The ball was played out of defence for the no. 9 who knocked it inside for the no. 13 to finish comfortably past Linter. A set piece shortly afterwards doubled ER’s lead. The Jokers had been outfought for the first 10 minutes, but by the time the goals went in, it was clear that Wilby’s pace and the trickery of Gamson were going to cause their defence some problems. So it was perhaps unwise of ER to issue a stream of comments along the lines of ‘this lot are shit’. As the Jokers know to their own cost this season, a 2-0 lead after 20 minutes means nothing and doesn’t guarantee all three points. So it was to prove as ER were forced to eat their words as the Jokers produced a blistering 20 minute spell to go into the break 5-2 up.

With 5 goals in 20 minutes, some of what follows is guesswork. But I’m reliably informed that Wilby opened the scoring following a pass by Lynes, driving the ball across the keeper into the bottom left-hand corner. The second goal was Milner’s, a lobbed ball from Gamson found Wilby offside but clearly indicating that he wasn’t attempting to play the ball. As the ER defence stopped, the ball bounced to Milner, who kept a very cool head to finish emphatically past the keeper. The third was Gamson’s and was self-inflicted by the ER goalkeeper, whose goal kick was chested down by Gamson about thirty yards out. Gamson made his stately progress into the box and finished past the keeper, who was still rooted to his line (Powell later referred to him as a ‘subbuteo keeper’). The fourth was a Hyde header from a corner by Read and finally, Gamson put Milner in for his second.

At 5-2 the game was over and the Jokers were able to neutralize ER’s initial attempts to get back into contention without much trouble. They also added two further goals of their own: Wilby making a goal for himself and Hyde adding another header from a corner, this time delivered by Milner. Shortly before the end ER got a meaningless consolation when Lynes was slow to clear in the box following an attack on the ER left. But this was a tremendous victory, the first time the Jokers have got 7 for a few seasons and against a pumped-up team who are their nearest league rivals. This match marks the end of the Jokers’ campaign for 2005 and the team is now unbeaten in 9 league matches. From their last three games, against nearest rivals the Bairns and ER, the Jokers have taken maximum points, conceded 4 and scored 13. One worrying note is the form of Wilby: after 2 league matches he had scored 100% of the team’s goals. Now, after 7 matches, he’s down to a meagre 50%. Come on son, we know you can do better. But the season is not yet half over and although the Jokers are 4 points clear at the top, both the Bairns (with a game in hand) and ER are prepared for any slip-ups, with Cambazola also threatening to put themselves into contention.