Sunday 25 September 2005
Battersea Park
k.o. 4 p.m.
Team: Linter; Lynes, Vere, Hyde, Keen; Milner, Seaton-Smith, Etienne, Stevens; King, Hinks.
Sub. Mandolini (on for Vere, 45)
Scorer - Seaton-Smith
The Jokers' pre-season finished with a defeat at the hands of Division 1 outfit Dynamo Camford. At 4 o’clock, the Jokers appeared to be the more organised team. This was a shame as the match didn’t kick off until twenty-past. At 4.00, 12 men stood resplendent in the rarely seen red and black kit, a tribute to the Jokers teams of old, or a consequence of Milner’s late decision to play, by which time Linter had already given up on seeing the famous blue and black stripes in favour of a hurried visit to Pete Gamson’s to track down the fabled away kit. But in opposition to those twelve men stood only 6 of Dynamo Camford’s Jolly Green Giants. Regular updates from Camford’s captain informed the Jokers of the progress of several latecomers from
As the referee called the captains to the centre-circle for the toss, it was, amazingly, Linter who picked up the blame for the late start (well, he does have to get halfway up the pitch) and this was to be the shape of things to come, as a succession of decisions failed to go the Jokers’ way in the first half.
Not that Camford needed much help. The early passages of play reminded everyone, particularly bemused Jokers defenders, that they play in a division above us. Chances came and went, with the Jokers offering little as an attacking force, until midway through the half, Camford made a chance tell. A corner from their right was half-cleared to an attacker unmarked at the edge of the box. His driven shot was going wide, but was turned in by a Camford attacker on the edge of the six-yard box. The Jokers defence were of the clear opinion that this player was offside, with Lynes in particular making the ref aware of his views, but to no avail.
It came as something of a surprise when the Jokers managed to get themselves back on terms; so much of a surprise that the build-up to the goal will have to remain the subject of some complicated reference to Seaton-Smith’s chart of assists to work out who was involved. What is certain is that it was the team’s statistician himself who popped up to bundle the ball home, initially off the inside of the post and then more emphatically into the back of the net. No mistake there then (as I’m sure the table of scorers already shows).
Half-time saw the replacement of Vere by Mandolini. This should have been a positive move, if only because it reduced Camford to ten men. However, Camford proved well-equipped to deal with their deficiency, leaving three at the back to cope with the Jokers twin strikeforce, chasing everything in midfield and playing with one up front. Their game plan was helped by a goal early in the second half. A ball from midfield found a striker running into the left-hand side of the box and he got to the ball before Linter or Mandolini’s desperate challenge back. His touch might have been heading into the goal anyway, but Camford’s number three was on hand to slide in to make sure.
Thereafter it was a tale of Camford pressing and enjoying the bulk of possession, although clear-cut chances did not come as frequently as in the first period, with the Jokers a sporadic force on the break. Hinks shot narrowly across the face of goal from a tight angle. Milner forced the keeper into a save, and also hit the bar after a good run and pullback down the right by Dave. But Camford too had opportunities, their number 10 hitting the bar from the edge of the area with sufficient ferocity to send the ball over the fence.
By the end of the match the Jokers were looking a tired outfit, despite their one-man advantage. Milner did distinguish himself by getting back from left midfield in order to make a tackle in the right-back position a couple of minutes from time, but he seemed the only one with such energy. Anyway, he undid it all a minute later by trying a fancy back heel in the centreback position, which was easily intercepted by the number 11, whose bouncing shot Linter will have been disappointed not to deal with. The Jokers had barely kicked off before the referee blew for time.
Overall, though, this was a decent performance with a salutary lesson. The Jokers acquitted themselves well without ever seriously threatening to get something out of the match. But this was a team missing the likes of Wilby, Read and Perez-Tejedor and with several new players still finding their way. The real business begins next week, with a league fixture against Cambazola (with whom the Jokers have played out a series of sterile, low-scoring draws in recent years). If fitness levels and appetite for the ball can be raised slightly, Jokers have the ability to live with anything Division 2 can throw at them.