Jokers 1 – 2 Cambazola

Mile End

Thursday 3 November, k. o. 7.00

Team: Linter; Adam, Vere, Gromb, Read; Milner, Seaton-Smith, Gamson, Mandolini; Stevens, Wilby.

Scorer: Wilby

Note: This match report had been censored by JFCTV, the official television station of the Jokers. At relevant points will be inserting extracts of a report on our youth Academy.

A team missing several influential players (Lynes, Hyde, Keen and Perez-Tejedor) and suffering from a lack of substitutes saw their cup dreams ended at Mile End for the second year running, this time to a Cambazola side they had beaten comfortably on the season’s opening day. But this was a lacklustre performance with …. “Tom and Will are first year scholars who have come to the Academy set-up on a part-time basis. The club has found them local digs and is currently teaching them French and media relations” …. truly dreadful.

Matters were not helped by a series of decisions from the referee that were not simply questionable, but demonstrably wrong. As these multiplied the game developed a niggly aspect, the first time this has happened this season. At various points Gromb and Gamson were off the field with injuries and Seaton-Smith and Stevens were struggling. But the team can have no complaints about the result. Only Linter, with a penalty stop the pick of a series of fine saves, emerged with much credit. On the other hand … “Will names Britney Spears as his favourite star and if he doesn’t make it as a footballer would like to do a sports science qualification” … came in for particular criticism, with Linter commenting that he had come on for twenty minutes against the Wee Bairns, done well, negotiated himself a match-fee discount and thought he was a star.

The first goal went in with Gromb off the field. A Seaton-Smith square ball was picked up in midfield by a Cambazola player who set up a colleague to finish well from the edge of the area. By this time, the Jokers had already absorbed much pressure, despite the fact they were playing with a strong wind at their backs. Half-time arrived with the Jokers back to eleven with the return of Gromb, but, having failed to produce a shot and with the team generally looking off colour, there was little prospect of a change in fortunes, especially as … “Tom supported Manchester Utd as a boy, names Roy Keane as his favourite player and says that his proudest moment as a Joker was scoring the winner in the recent Academy fixture against ESB Shantytown…”

Problems mounted as Cambazola doubled their lead. A bizarre refereeing decision against Seaton-Smith in the centre circle (when, if anything, it looked like the Joker was being fouled) produced a free-kick. The Jokers lined up at the edge of the box, but as the ball came in an unmarked striker was on hand on the penalty spot to tuck home. Either the Jokers marking had gone seriously wrong (not, we admit, a possibility that can be definitively ruled out) or the referee had been guilty of another dodgy offside decision, in which case his position next to the taker of the free-kick, thirty yards behind play, would not have helped.

Matters worsened soon after when Vere gave away a penalty with a cynical challenge inside the box, the sort that has … “Chief Academy Scout Gabriel Sterne believes that the pair have a bright future. ‘Hopefully’, Sterne commented, ‘both Tom and Will will go on to play many times for the Jokers first team, before sodding off to Washington and only getting in touch with the management when Leeds beat one of their teams’” … many times over the years.

Linter’s save, low to his right, was a rare moment of class in this performance, made better as he grabbed hold of the rebound before the kicker could reach it. This seemed to galvanise the team. 3-0 down with 15 minutes to go and it would have been all over, but now the Jokers put together their first serious attacks of the night. Gamson's swerving shot hit the keeper rather than being saved and the same player was unlucky not to win a penalty as he was bundled over in the box. But once again it was left to Wilby to grab the Jokers’ goal, with a lofted left-foot shot from distance that the (admittedly small) Cambazola keeper could only applaud into the net. But, although the Jokers were now committed to the cause, they could not grab the equaliser that would have taken the match to penalties. So a 2-1 loss once again ends the Jokers’ cup hopes, although, as Cambazola’s reward is a tie against Div 1 champions IDS, it’s a fairly safe bet that Zola will soon be joining them.

“We wish Tom and Will all the best during their time with the club”